I knew all the signs and symptoms of perinatal mood and anxiety issues (PMADS), had worked with countless parents around anxiety, depression, and scary thoughts, but I naively never thought I would experience them. It didn’t matter that I had a mental health background, good coping and self-care skills, and a strong social support system.
I was still up at night- pumping every 1-2 hours and scrolling through Instagram, trying to find advice about getting a baby to latch, despite all the work I had done with lactation consultants, breastfeeding cafes and pediatric occupational therapists. Watching my son sleep soundly in his bassinet, checking repeatedly to see if he was still breathing. I was still constantly changing him in and out of clothes and swaddles, worried he would be too hot or cold and would get ill. I was still comparing myself to how I thought good mothers were parenting their children and always finding myself lacking. What I didn’t know then — what I couldn’t see through the fog of exhaustion and fear — was that I was living inside the very thing I had spent years helping other parents survive.
All of it — the checking, the comparing, the scrolling at 2am — had a name. I was experiencing a Postpartum Mood/Anxiety Disorder.
The unique changes that occur during the pregnancy and postpartum periods put ALL parents at risk for mental health concerns. Four of five people who give birth experience the “baby blues,” a period of mild to moderate tearfulness, anxiety, and moodiness, which typically last a few days up to two weeks.
However, one out of every five birth givers and one out of every ten partners experience moderate to severe depression, anxiety, or anger during pregnancy or the postpartum phase, which can last up to 12 months. These symptoms are collectively called PMADS.
PMADS occur for several reasons, including rapid hormonal and physiological changes, sleep deprivation, lack of social support, family or preexisting history of mental health issues, birth trauma and undergoing the process of matrescence (the identity shift that happens as someone becomes a parent.) Many parents aren’t aware of how common PMADS are or how distressing it can be to experience them.
Symptoms of PMADS include:
- Depressed mood, lack of joy or engagement, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, difficulty getting out of bed
- Excessive worrying, rumination, restlessness, difficulty with focus or concentration
- Scary or intrusive thoughts, which could include worrying about something happening to your baby or other children or worried about harming your baby or children
- Increased anger, irritability, and sometimes rage, difficulty with emotional regulation.
- Feeling of not being a good enough parent, worries that baby would be better off without them, suicidal ideation, or homicidal ideation.
PMADS are often overlooked and underreported but are highly treatable and many parents make considerable recovery. Treatment often includes a combination of therapy, medication management, adequate sleep, social interaction and engagement, and self-care. I was lucky enough to have friends, family, and access to multiple providers who supported me and my son while I recovered from PMADS.
PMADS can be very distressing and happen any time within the first year of parenting, but with proper support from providers, including a perinatal specialized therapist, there is hope for recovery and healing.
I still work with parents navigating PMADs every day. I bring something different to that work now — not just clinical training, but the memory of checking my son’s breathing at 3am, convinced something was wrong. I know what that room feels like. You can find your way out of it.
Resources:
Postpartum Support International Help Line: 800-944-4773
Postpartum Support International Support Groups (Birth givers, partners, and more): https://postpartum.net/get-help/psi-online-support-meetings/
