What’s the one thing that- if it didn’t happen- would make this season feel incomplete?
When it comes to Thanksgiving- for my youngest daughter- it’s sitting on the couch, watching the Detroit parade,Thursday morning, making bets with the rest of the family about how many marching bands will be performing this year. For my eldest daughter- it’s cheering for Michigan against Ohio State at our annual football party the Saturday after. Those are the experiences that epitomize the holiday weekend to each of them. Although they have fun all weekend long- laughing with their cousins, eating so.much.pie, and playing endless board games- those are the singular experiences that make it truly feel like the holiday to them.
As we enter into December, there are so, so many holiday experiences we could participate in. Even if you’re not practicing a particular religion, you’re being bombarded by invitations, advertisements, and newsletters all practically screaming at you with suggestions: Cookie decorating parties; tree lighting ceremonies; nutcracker performances, white elephant exchanges… the opportunities of places to go and events to pack in are endless. Not to mention all the traditions and special experiences you may want to ensure happen if you do celebrate a specific holiday. Certain foods that you want to eat, services you want to attend, decorations you want to display.
When every week brings another invitation or “should,” December easily shifts from joyful to overwhelming.
Here’s what helps: Clarity about priorities.
My strategy? Before the chaos hits, I ask each family member- including myself- what matters most to them this season. By knowing ahead of time what we’re each looking forward to, I can ensure that those things are prioritized and scheduled.
Equally important, I can turn down the many, many, many invitations to other events. I can say no to trying that new stuffing recipe if, actually, our traditional stuffing is my favorite part of the meal. Or I can opt out of a New Year’s Eve party if what I’d really prefer is to binge-watch a favorite show and fall asleep by 10.
What about you? Ask yourself: “What am I doing out of obligation rather than joy?” “What am I doing because I think I should rather than because I want to?”
This year my calendar is marked for Saturday Dec 20th to make latkes. My family celebrates Chanukah and for me- nothing says Chanukah more than making and eating deep-fried, homemade potato pancakes while the candles in the menorah gleam in the background. Sure, we have 8 nights of the holiday when I could do this- but latke making (especially if you grate the potatoes and onion by hand like my family does) is a time-consuming and smelly process. I need to make sure I protect time for this tradition.
Maybe your ‘latkes’ are watching Home Alone for the umpteenth time or taking a solo walk to see neighborhood lights. Whatever it is- it’s important to identify it.
So take five minutes this week: What’s your one non-negotiable? Write it down. Put it on the calendar. Then watch how protecting that one thing makes space for actual joy instead of just busyness. And suddenly- you have permission to let everything else go.
