I am obsessed with time. Some people are obsessed with tornadoes or eclipses or learning to speak Elvish or mapping the Marvel timeline & universe. I, personally, love to ponder the best ways to use time. I listen to podcasts about time management, I read books about the subject, and I integrate time management strategies into the executive functioning coaching I do with some of my clients. Along the way I’ve come to learn some paradoxical truths about how time works. One of my favorite, most useful paradoxes is that five minutes of time well-spent can buy back hours. Often, though, we underestimate how much can be done in a five minute period and just how big the payoff can be. This fall, I’ve found myself frequently repeating- and benefiting from- the reminder to “Just take five minutes.”
When a child keeps melting down over the same thing, I’ll suggest to a parent that they have a collaborative problem solving conversation with their child: Talk together about what’s triggering and what they might do differently next time. Often the parent thinks I mean a half-hour, deep analysis. No! I’m suggesting taking five minutes, in a calm moment, to come up with some ideas to try out. It often really helps a child to know they’re not going to be trapped in a never-ending conversation. A parent can say, “I just want to talk for five minutes. Look, we’ll set a timer and when the timer goes off- we can be done.” Knowing it’s a brief, time limited experience can free up kids to be more cooperative and engaged in the conversation.
Another situation when five minutes can make a huge difference: When our house is in cluttered-chaos and everywhere we look is visually overwhelming and overstimulating. We don’t need to spend hours reorganizing our closets or designing a new toy storage system. Instead- if our kitchen counters and sink are overflowing with dirty dishes- spending five minutes to put the dishes in the dishwasher will make everything feel enormously calmer. Often, the hardest part of drudgery-tasks is getting started. Adults can use the same trick of setting a timer and remembering that this will be brief. Reminding- “I only have to do this for five minutes and then I’m done,” can give us the momentum we need to activate off the couch.
My family recently started a brief check-in period on Sundays after lunch. Each kid takes five minutes to review their upcoming week and let parents know what they need: permission slips signed, a pick-up from school at a different time than normal, or new shoes because they’ve suddenly grown again. Although my kids moan about the check-in, they’re beginning to realize less of their needs are slipping through the cracks. And this five minute check-in has really saved my sanity! I no longer have requests flying at me non-stop all week that I have to remember. I just tell my kids “Write it down for Sunday,” and I can focus on other priorities until then.
At work, if we have a bazillion to-do items and multiple competing priorities, a sense of urgency may encourage us to jump right into the day, responding to emails or checking off quick tasks that trick us into feeling like we’re accomplishing something. At the end of the day, we may realize that once again we’ve made minimal progress on our most important project. Instead, we can take five minutes at the start of the day. We can look over everything on our plate and pick the true priorities, then decide when to work on them based on when we’ll have the energy and focus to do them well. That way, we end the day with the important things done, instead of a cleared inbox and the same nagging project still waiting.
So, if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed during this busy season- I’d encourage you to harness the power of a well-used five minutes. Your challenge: pick one stress point, whether it’s a recurring meltdown, a cluttered counter, or a hectic week, and give it just five minutes. You might be surprised how much time it gives you back.
